Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize