So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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