she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
cat food counts as protein by the way
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
