i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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