she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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