at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
