dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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