i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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