Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize