can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
