forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
