Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
