How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
