I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
