how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
operation harelip BJ is a go
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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