I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
