your parents love me but you hate me
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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