oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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