i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize