maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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