I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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