fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
