Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
