Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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