Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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