so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
