But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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