In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
