your parents love me but you hate me
I love black thongs
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I need to sanitize my soul.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
