I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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