Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
