dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
What changed your mind?
Being sober
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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