he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
