the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
