you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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