'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
