I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
