I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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