His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
