So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize