...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
