whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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