If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The Olympian is in my bed
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