Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
