I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
