I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
