Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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