Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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