Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
