So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
