I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
