Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You dont lie about slip and slides
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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