Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
