Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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