i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
