Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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