ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
