everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
wow bdsm is so cute
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
