Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize