Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Please don't give away my fajitas
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
