Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
