Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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