Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize