so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
