when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ladies don't puke and tell
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize