Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
