Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
