Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
